Sunday, November 4, 2012

We're a Weird Mob: Australians' Bizarre Behaviour



People do some weird things overseas, which is why I wrote a post about it some time ago. Things like sticking your entire family on a scooter, or taking your goat on the bus. Or eating chips with mayo.

But it occurs to me that for foreigners coming to Australia for the first time, it would seem like we do some pretty strange stuff here as well.
So in the interests of fairness, and with a lot of help from a band of expat friends of mine, I've compiled this list of the bizarre things that Australians get up to.

Shortening all words

Whatevs, it's not like we shorten everything. Except sunnies. And boardies. And footy. And snags. And chucking a uey. And calling Barry, Baz. And Sharon, Shaz. And Robert, Robbo. I even travelled with a girl who referred to her binoculars as "binos".

"Bring a plate"

When my mum first arrived in Australia she was invited to a friend's barbecue and told to "bring a plate". So she brought a plate. An empty plate. She was a little embarrassed to find that everyone else had brought some food on theirs.

BYO

It's great when foreigners first realise this: "You can take your own wine to a restaurant? Geez, can you take your own beer to the pub?"

Watching the footy
Because there's no such thing as just "footy". There are four sports here that could qualify as "footy", and you can never be quite sure which one people are talking about. Still, you gotta love the footy.

Buying a beer
What the hell is a "pony"? And who came up with "schooner"? And why do "handles" not have actual handles? And in which other country is it normal to order a "pot of gold"? South Australia takes the grand prize for weirdness though, with a glass called a "pint" that doesn't hold a full pint.

Taking a day off for the Queen's birthday

I'm not arguing about it or anything, but it's not even on the Queen's actual birthday. And the Brits don't celebrate it, so why do we?

Having a bank robber as a national icon

Ned Kelly was no Robin Hood, was he? No altruistic man of the people. He just shot some cops and wore a bucket on his head. And we revere this guy? (OK, I know there's a lot more to this story, but from a foreigner's perspective, it's pretty odd.)

Dressing really fancy for the races...

Then getting absolutely obliterated. There's nothing more Australian than seeing a smartly dressed couple stumble out of the races, her with high heels in hand, him with a tie around his head, and start drunkenly screaming at taxis going past.

"How's it going?"

This has to be up there with the American "what's up" as the most nonsensical greeting around. How's what going? I remember a few exchange students at uni talking about this, saying, "It took me a while to realise that Australians don't actually want to know how you are going. They just want you to say 'good'."

Complaining about the rain in London

Somewhat stunningly, a mate of mine pointed out that Sydney gets more rain each year than London. Ouch.

Having celebrity TV shows that don't feature any celebrities

Australia's pool of actual, legitimate celebrities is frighteningly shallow, but that doesn't stop the networks from pumping out "celebrity" versions of their reality shows featuring people you've never heard of. We have chefs dancing on primetime TV. It's embarrassing.

Eating seafood on Christmas Day

I'm all for a few prawns and bugs on the 25th of December, but if you're from the Northern Hemisphere and were expecting a turkey roast, it might seem a little bizarre.

Worshipping meat pies

It's pastry filled with bits of meat, and slathered in tomato sauce. Not exactly a gastronomic masterpiece, but that doesn't stop us getting all excited about eating a lukewarm one at the footy.

Worshipping swimmers

Just between you and me, swimming's not really a sport, is it? It's a pastime; a survival technique. But anyone who wins gold medals over here is a big deal. Heck, we even treat walking as a real sport once every four years.

Playing the pokies

Surely the dreariest, most antisocial form of gambling there is, and yet Aussies are mad for it. We flock to pubs and clubs around the country to pour money into the gaping mouths of these flashing, dinging monsters. Sigh.

Travelling... Elsewhere

Australians love to travel, right? Well sure, as long as it's not in Australia. No, we can't tell you what WA is like, and we haven't been to Adelaide. But what do you want to know about Bali?

Rugging up for winter

Northern Hemisphere folk think it's hilarious, just as we have a chuckle when everyone strips down to their bikinis in England when the temperature nudges 20. In Australia, a brief dip into the teens will mean the scarves and coats are out for the next few months.

Wearing our thongs on our feet

This is for the Americans, who always look a little confused when you ask them if they've seen our thongs. Or, do you think I should wear thongs today? Sounds a little inappropriate... but at least it's not as dumb as jandals.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Perth Skyshow 2012 - Skyworks: Lightning and Fireworks Ignite Perth Skies in Stunning Australia Day Skyshow



Crowd numbers were slightly down on last year, but the Australia Day celebrations in Perth still attracted 250,000, despite the heat and rain.

Police said today that 139 arrests and summons were made statewide during the Skyworks.

There were 169 move-on notices issued, 67 alcohol related offences and 39 people were charged with disorderly conduct.

Police said four people were charged with driving under the influence with six people caught driving with a blood alcohol level over 0.08%.

There were nine assault charges laid, three assault on a public officer charges and seven drug related offences.

But West Australians were well-behaved during Australia Day celebrations across the state yesterday, police said.


Lightning and Fireworks Ignite Perth Skies in Stunning Australia Day Skyshow

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Australia Day (feat. our correspondent Ken Oathcarn)


Australia Day. It's a day of high jinx, high revelry and high people in Australia; a day when a large and vocal majority come together to "celebrate what's great" about this country.

But what is the meaning of all this fanfare? What is the true origin of this passionately marked day of facepaint and binge drinking? Is everyone in Australia so keen on this particular anniversary?

To get to bottom of these questions, and more, join your amiable host Robert Foster as he conducts a high-octane, high-frequency satellite link-up with a representative of the Mainstream Australian media: multi-Logie award-winning broadcaster, entertainer, emu-wrangler and true blue Aussie, Kenneth Oathcarn.

WARNING: contains adult Australian vernacular - viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Written, produced and performed by Hugo Farrant (Robert Foster) & Giordano Nanni (Ken Oathcarn).

Maggie's Australia Day Pavlova

MAGGIE Beer shows how to make Australia's favourite dessert, writes Simon Wilkinson.

So what will you be putting on top of the pavlova this Australia Day? That magical circle of billowing white meringue is a blank canvas, as much at home with the wildly fragrant fruit of the tropics as the peaches, nectarines and berries of the southern climes or classically the passionfruit that's grown on a vine trailing over the back shed.

That expression of person and place is one factor that makes the pavlova an Aussie icon just as much as that other spectacular white structure on Sydney harbour. A meringue opera house now there's a thought.

The people who voted in our poll on taste.com.au certainly think so, declaring pav their choice of dessert for Australia Day, ahead of other frontrunners lamingtons and peach melba.

Two Big Australia Day Skyshows for Perth

The biggest Australia Day party will again be in Perth with the country's biggest fireworks skyshow on the Swan River foreshore.

The City of Perth Skyworks will light up the sky from 8pm (WST), with an Australian Spirit theme.

Internationally-known entertainer Rolf Harris will also contribute a "special feature" for the soundtrack.

But before the pyrotechnics begin, the city will also host free entertainment throughout the afternoon for families.

The Youth Zone concert at Langley Park will begin at 4.30pm with headline acts Amy Meredith and Stone Circle, as well as paintballing and cars.

Earlier, Survival Perth will be held in the Supreme Court Gardens to celebrate Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander history and culture.

Aboriginal artists will perform music over six hours including Kwarbah Djookian, James Scott, Ulla Shay, Walkabout Boys, Bartlett Brothers and The Yabu Band.

Across the river, the City of South Perth will host Celebration Zone at Sir James Mitchell Park with various entertainment and activities.

For those south of the river, the City of Fremantle will celebrate Australia Day with a free sausage sizzle and entertainment, as well as face painting and giant bubbles.

Performers will include the Vegemite Dancers, Aboriginal Dancers, Sunshine Brothers and Blue Shaddy, and the Village Art Markets will also be operating at the Esplanade.

From 8pm, the Cities of Fremantle and Cockburn will co-host the Indian Ocean Skyshow, launching the fireworks from a barge 300m off the coast at Bathers Bay.

Spectators are advised to view the show from Bathers Beach foreshore, the Round House, Esplanade Park, North Mole, Monument Hill, South Beach and Fishing Boat Harbour.

It's expected to reach 40C on Australia Day so people are being warned to remain hydrated.

The Fire and Emergency Services Authority (FESA) warns those attending the Skyworks to leave the sparklers at home because they can easily start a fire.

Police will also be out in force to target anti-social behaviour and alcohol-fuelled violence.

Commissioner Karl O'Callaghan said there would be designated alcohol zones.

"Drinking outside the zones is against the law and offenders face a $200 fine," he said.

"Under the Liquor Act, police have the power to seize alcohol, even if its unopened, from anyone drinking and deemed to be causing or likely to cause undue offence, annoyance, disturbance or inconvenience to others."

Last year, police issued almost 50 move on notices and 23 people were arrested.

Two Big Australia Day Skyshows for Perth

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Australia Day at Sydney Olympic Park 2012

Sydney Olympic Park and Auburn Council invite you to celebrate what's great on Australia Day at Bicentennial Park with free family entertainment.

There will be plenty of food stalls to satisfy your hunger plus free rides for the kids.

The stage will be jam packed with entertainment for all ages and there will be a great variety of community stalls on display.

To end the day a sparkling fireworks finale!

View the Sydney Olympic Park Australia Day Map
www.sydneyolympicpark.com.au
Bicentennial Drive
Sydney Olympic Park, NSW 2127
Phone: (02) 9714 7888
http://www.sydney.com/events/australia-day-at-sydney-olympic-park-2012

Australia Day at Sydney Olympic Park 2012

Thumbs up for Barbie Girl - 2012 Lamb Australia Day Video Advert



AGFORCE'S Richard Pietsch has given a big "thumbs up" to this year's Meat and Livestock Australia (MLA) Sam Kekovich Australia Day lamb campaign, but says the lamb industry still has a way to go before hitting the highs of 2011.

The AgForce Sheep and Wool president says while it is certain the Kekovich campaigns have given lambs sales a incredible boost over the past eight years, consumption was down in 2011 compared to previous years.

"MLA reported that for 2011, tighter supplies and a 9 per cent jump in retail prices during 2010-11 had quelled consumer demand which had risen steadily for the previous 10 years," Mr Pietsch said.

Australia's weekly servings of fresh meat during 2010-11 increased 3pc compared with the previous year, to average 135.5 million serves.

Lamb was served 22.55m times in January and February 2011, up from 21.86m serves on the same period the previous year.

In 2010-11, lamb represented 16pc share of total fresh meat sales at retail outlets. Beef purchases were steady, on average accounting for 38pc of total sales.

Pork and chicken purchases edged up over the 12 months to June 2011, to 13pc and 29pc, respectively.

Mr Pietsch says this year's summer barbecue-themed Sam Kekovich Australia Day lamb campaign, based on the pop song Barbie Girl from the 1990s band Aqua, was likely to be effective, but may not be everyone's cup of tea.

"I'm not sure that this year's campaign appeals to me, but when we are selling lamb to consumers, Sam's ads in the lead-up to Australia Day have a significant effect," Mr Pietsch said.

"The real test of the campaign is increasing lamb sales and ensuring the profitability of the entire industry."

Lamb producers have enjoyed strong prices through 2011.

AgForce Sheep and Wool policy director Rachael Pratt said this year's Sam Kekovich ads had certainly drawn a mixed reaction from Queensland lamb producers.

"Some producers certainly don't like it," Ms Pratt said.

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